Sometimes I forget

Today I was looking online for some social stories for my son with Autism, and I started thinking about what life with him would have been like if we weren't on this journey.

I don't think about this very often. In fact, I don't know that I've ever even allowed my mind to go there. He is who he is because God has allowed us to walk this road.

It was settled in my heart a long time ago, and sometimes I just forget that it could have been any different.

My son, C, is a great kid. He is very happy and he laughs often. He even sort-of bounces when he walks.

When he was in public school, he always had several kids (and teachers) who loved him and enjoyed helping him out. In fact, nearly every year in school his teachers would have to move the girls' desks away from his desk because they always ended up doing his work for him.
He's just a really likable kid.

But what if I didn't have to search the internet for social stories for him? What if I didn't have to prompt him to look at people when they were talking to him, so that he would know he's supposed to respond?

What if I didn't really know what living with Autism was like?

He's very coordinated. I wonder if he would have been in sports.

He's a joy to be around. Would he have lots of friends?

Would he be as obedient and as respectful as he is now? As orderly? Take things as literally?

Truthfully, I don't need an answer to any of those questions. Not even one of them.

When I look at my son, I see a handsome, happy 13 year-old boy. Sometimes I have to be reminded that he has Autism. Sometimes when I'm telling someone how good he is doing and they just nod their head and smile, I think, "Oh yeah, I forget that they aren't seeing what I'm seeing."

Sometimes I forget that the world says he's not normal.

I love my son, and I thank God daily for him. I can't possibly imagine him being any other way.

Sometimes I forget that there's even anything else to think about.

Originally posted January 2009 @ Mom in Transition